


It's easy to forget

by hardcoreGSfan (nickjr)



Category: Gundam SEED
Genre: Angst, Developing Friendships, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29992083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nickjr/pseuds/hardcoreGSfan
Summary: I have to remind myself that the person who killed Tolle is also a person. I know you're a person, Athrun. I just need to feel it. (Miriallia, not the author)Late cross-post from fanfiction.net





	It's easy to forget

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on fanfiction.net in November 2016. Cross-posted here on AO3 in March 2021.
> 
> I like thinking about interactions between Athrun and the Heliopolis teens. I especially like thinking about interactions between Athrun and Miriallia. It's not that I have a lot of them--my thoughts are basically all in this fic--I just think the angst is delicious. Mmm.
> 
> For some reason, even after 6 years of reading fanfiction, I still felt the need to specify I'm influenced by headcanons lol
> 
> Original author's notes:  
> Set between the two wars. Miriallia visits Reverend Malchio and co. between her photojournalism trips. Some headcanons used.

Athrun noticed that although Miriallia never sought him out, whenever Miriallia did see him, she went straight to him. He would be watching the orphans play on the beach, and then he'd sense Miriallia walking up to him and plopping herself next to him. He would be washing the dishes (he didn't have to, but it kept him busy for a short while) and then Miriallia would start washing the dishes with him. He would be stargazing while he thought everyone else was asleep (including Kira until his nightmares started), and then Miriallia would prove his thoughts wrong by joining him.

She always talked to him. Athrun had no idea how to talk to the girl whose boyfriend he killed (they didn't address that at all in the military academy, really), so Miriallia initiated every conversation. At first, it was small talk: the sun is way too hot today, I don't understand what Mother Nature is trying to do with these crazy temperature changes, I saw a new car in the parking lot, I heard a new video game is going to be released soon so maybe I should get it for the kids.

Athrun isn't sure when their conversations shifted gears so that he and Miriallia were bonding over Kira's academic antics (overworked Kira is classic Kira) and various mechanical mishaps (which Miriallia was well-acquainted with, thanks to Tolle's—

... ah, uh)

With every conversation they had, Miriallia seemed to relax more in Athrun's presence. Sometimes, they both forgot that the war had ever happened. Sometimes, they would talk about Tolle (who Kira thought would have been great friends with Athrun, especially with their shared love of mechanics) and they would almost forget that Athrun had killed him.

The realization was disorienting for Athrun. He could guess why Miriallia was trying to grow more comfortable with him, but the thought was still a little bewildering.

He asked Miriallia about it the next time he saw her.

"It's easy to forget that enemy killers are people, too," she responded, not meeting his eyes.

"'Killers'..."

Miriallia nodded. "It's a lot easier for me to remember that enemy _soldiers_ are people, with Mr. Waltfeld and Dearka and everyone else on the _Eternal_ ," she explained. "I knew they killed a lot of people, too, whether directly or indirectly, but they hadn't killed anyone close to me, so they never really registered in my mind as killers. While I'm at it, the same goes for Kira and everyone on the _Archangel_. But—" Miriallia bit her lip. Athrun waited patiently.

It took a few seconds for Miriallia to gather her thoughts. "Every time I think of you, I remember that you killed Tolle, so... it's a lot harder to remember that you were an enemy soldier as well. I never really... _felt_ the fact that soldiers are killers, even though I knew it intellectually, so... I guess I felt that they were separate things."

Miriallia didn't continue, so Athrun asked, "So you've been doing this to remind yourself..."

"That you're a person, too? Yep." She paused, then finally glanced to her side to meet Athrun's gaze. "I think I've mostly succeeded."

He smiled sheepishly. "I confess that I still feel awkward whenever you show up since I don't know how I should act or speak around you."

"Well, you're not usually overly cheerful, so I think it's fine if you just act as you normally do."

"Since it won't feel like I'm ignoring that I killed Tolle?"

"... Yeah, that's a good way to put it."


End file.
